At the Isle Rose Fortress, captains of each knight troops have a private room in the “Officer’s Building”. Right now, Presha-san should also be back in her private room.
On the third floor of this fortress, there is a part where it is not covered with roof and one will have to pass through there when heading to the “Officer’s building”. The moon is floating between the clouds in the sky –compared to when I saw it with Dite-san before, the moon got occluded a little.
After having Dite-san use the “night flower”, her health has improved considerably. Sleep contributes to both recovery from fatigue and maintaining mental balance so if your sleep cycle is broken even a little, you should work on improving it.
The knights on this fortress, who have long struggled against Zirconia’s attacks, may have symptoms that can turn into an illness. Even if they are not visibly harmful to their health, I think we should do a health check for everyone. But I’ll think of everything else after the success of this operation.
There was only one middle-aged guard in front of the entrance to the officer’s building, and when she saw me, she salutes to me. For me, she looks like a woman of the same age as mother except that her body is well-trained, and with her standing there with her cane, she has this unapproachable atmosphere.
―But as soon as she saw me, she smiled broadly. Apparently, she knows who I am.
“Welcome Grass-sensei. Are you looking for the officers? Everyone is in the room except for Chloe-sama who is patroling around at night.”
Even only by looking at that cheerful smile, I get this impression that she is a nice aunt. Everyone is really ―when I first saw them, many of them have this murderous look. But now, even though the current situation isn’t very good, their facial expressions are gentle.
The period of the nonagressive defense ended thru Astina-denka’s resolve. That also means that they have already heard about it from their superiors.
“I heard that depending on the outcome of tomorrow’s war council, we will immediately attack Zirconia. Grass-sensei, please take care of our friends that will remain in this fortress.”
“No, I’ll also go. If we magicians do not give our best, we can’t overcome our current plight… Oh, I’m sorry. It’s only been a short time since I came here but I am already saying that.”
She was surprised when I said that I would accompany them too, then she showed her heartache without hiding it in her expression. The reason why she makes such a face is probably because she thinks that as a military doctor, it is dangerous for me to join them.
I myself know that I can’t let my guard down. If the enemy’s general, Alejandro, understands the usefulness of spirit’s magic in the military when he took Noin along, he will for sure prioritize to target them if he knows that Noin or a magician is here.
“I’ve heard that magic can exert unimaginable power in the war. But still… I’m sorry, I selfishly thought of my son upon seeing Sensei. I volunteered to be a soldier so that my still young son won’t be sent into war in the future you see.”
“…Is that so? Your son, is he still…”
“My family lives in Portolo town and I have the opportunity to go home twice a year. It’s worth living to see my son grow up every time I return home. I often wonder if my son feels lonely because he doesn’t have his parents by his side but that’s not the case. He seems to be proud that I’m in the Knights order.”
I understand why she speaks this much. At the same time, I will make sure that not only this person, but all the knights, especially those who have someone waiting for them, return.
Moreover she’s already determined before the dispatch. She wants to tell someone –about her family, about her son who she wants to protect even at the cost of her life.
“When you return to Portolo, your son will be even more splendid for sure.”
That may be insensitive of me. Saying what I think right now, not caring for what might happen tomorrow, or the day after that. Still, I said it while also admonishing myself. For what reason did I learn magic for? For what reason did I learn to save people for?
“Let’s all come back together. So please let me fight with everyone.”
“Sensei is really… Even though you’re still so young, you are a splendid “doctor” after all. When you talk like this, I feel that you’ve seen thru everyone’s feelings.”
“I haven’t finish the medical examination of everyone yet. For that reason too, it is necessary for us all to win and come back… Ah right, though it’s late, can I ask for your name?”
“My name is Odessa. If I…”
After giving her name, she tries to tell me something. I already knew what it was, and I was going to hear her out but Odessa-san shook her head and put the words she was about to say in her heart.
“No. I’m glad I was able to talk to Grass-sensei.”
“Me too. It gets cold at night so I’ll bring a drink that can warm your body later.”
I can only do little. When I entered the officer’s building, it seemed that our conversation outside has been heard by the female attendant who was about to go and give Odessa-san a drink.
“Thank you for the hard work tonight, Sensei. Though it may be impertinent of me, I would like to give the drinks to the guards from now on.”
“Thank you. Uhm, which one is Captain Presha’s…”
When I asked her, the woman’s facial expression darkens. She hesistated but still answers my question.
“Only Raquel-sama is supposed to visit Presha-sama’s room at night. But if it’s Grass-sensei…”
“…I’ll only go until the front of the room. Can you allow me up to that point?”
“Y-Yes. I heard that Grass-sensei is trusted by Presha-sama. Presha-sama’s room is on the second floor.”
After she told me where the stairs to go up is, I started walking towards it. And when I went upstairs –I found a black-haired woman looking out from the window in the hallway.
“Knight Captain Raquel…”
When I called her name, she slightly jolt and then slowly turned around. She wore a robe over her thin sleeping clothes, unlike her appearance as a strict knight captain during the day, she had a gentle expression that I couldn’t help but admire.
―But those eyes were tinged with sorrow as soon as she looked at me. The moonlight falls on her long eyelashes and she was staring at me without saying anything.
“…About Presha, I intended to keep her secret between me, Her Highness, and Dite only. I think Presha herself wouldn’t want you to know just yet.”
“For me to know… Maybe Presha-san is…”
I will ask if there was something she was hiding from me, but I reconsidered that it was not the case. Everyone has something they carry. It’s only natural that there are things they can’t reveal to me, who just came here recently.
“…The way I see it, Presha-san seemed to be in a hurry. If she insists on sacrificing herself in order to lead this battle to our victory, I think that this is the right time to talk to her that’s why I came here.”
“I know. While Presha was speaking, you became tense and I knew that Grass have something in your mind… Her Highness should have noticed it too.”
Her Highness and I are connected through our contract with the sacred tree. So Her Highness could have stopped me when she sense that I was about to meet Presha-san. But I’m here now. I know I shouldn’t be haughty about it but since I get here without being reproach or anything, it means that I’m allowed to meet with Presha-san.
However, I thought that Raquel-san was here to test my resolve. She realized that I would come to see Presha-san and waited for me here to judge if I’m ready to meet her.
“…Don’t be surprised no matter what the Presha looks like now. I want you to accept her even if she looks different to the usual Presha during the day. Can you promise me that?”
“Of course. I didn’t come here in jest or on a whim. It’s my duty to manage the health of the knights who goes to battle. Presha-san is in a position which brings many knights together… The anxiety I felt while looking at her is something I just can’t leave alone.”
It’s best to say that I’m concern about Presha-san herself but I can’t express it very well. However, I thought that I should tell her that I was not acting driven by my self-interest.
Raquel-san folded her arms and closed her eyes as she listened. I think that she’s doing it not to intimidate me but to carefully analyse the words I’ve said.
“…I see. That’s right. I’m sorry if I tested you. I can spend the night without enduring the burning pain because I was treated and my body was now in good condition. I know that I should leave everything to you first.”
“It is necessary for Knight Captain Raquel to continue to receive treatment. If you have time, I would like to continue your treatment after this.”
“No…I’m fine for tonight. Please just think about Presha now. And hopefully, from the nightmares that she’s been having for a long time, with your hands…”
“Saying everything now is over protectiveness you know? Let’s leave the rest to Sensei.”
“…Dite, since when were you listening? Isn’t eavesdropping against the pride of the nobles?”
Whether her bedroom is on the same floor, Dite-san shows herself. Although her sleeping clothes are from a noble family, it’s not that luxurious, but since I have always seen her wearing armor, her appearance right now is very fresh to me.
As I reaffirm that the every Knights here are all beautiful, my heart beats inevitably faster―I thought I didn’t have that urge, but is this what is called preservation instinct? As with the hunting instinct of animals, it is difficult to suppress it with reason.
“Fufu … If you react too much like that, you’ll make me conscious that I am a woman you now.”
“W-What are you talking about…? Good grief. Like Grass would react…”
“Ah, n-no… I mean both of you have different impressions than usual… I’m sorry, I know it’s natural because it’s before bedtime.”
I don’t think it’s a case to be embarrassed, but when I see Dite-san and Raquel-san with their hair down, I feel that this is not a good place for a man to enter. Whether or not she knew my inner feelings, Dite-san went down the stairs halfway, turned behind me, and touched my shoulder to urge me to move forward.
“I’d really like you to come into my room to check if I correctly placed the flowers I received before. But now, as my consideration as her colleague, I want you to think only about Presha.”
“Yeah… Dite, let’s wait inside the room just in case. There wasn’t one these days, but if Presha suddenly had a nightmare…”
“Nightmare… is that the cause of the unreasonable but compulsive ideas that Presha-san always has?”
“…Emotional scars are not easy to heal. Even if you know the cause, it’s something you can’t do anything about. Since the past cannot be changed and what is lost cannot be returned.”
Even so, they said that they will let me go to see Presha-san. I would never want to betray that trust.
“I’ll be fine. Both of you please rest in your rooms. Can I perform another medical examination at a later date?”
Keeping the air heavy would put strain on the two of them. I wasn’t sure if I acted well enough but I smiled at them. Their eyes reddened –I didn’t want them to look like that, but they were both really kind and thought of Presha-san that much.
“…I’ll leave that child to you Grass-sensei.”
“I also beg you. Don’t let Presha throw her life away in the war someday… even just a little, her heart…”
There are many cases in which I am confident in the treatment as it has been proven that physical injuries and illnesses can be cured. Emotional illness is the one that is as difficult to treat or even more difficult than the others, and sometimes, no answer can even be found. There were even knights in this fortress who suffers from prognostic symptoms of the war –but now, they were able to laugh when they see me.
Nothing will start if I give up from the very beginning. Rather than giving up because it’s difficult, I want to find what I can do.
I separated from the two of them and proceeded through the dimly lit corridor. Then I stood in front of Presha-san’s room. I tried to knock on the door but I thought that Presha-san maybe asleep so I shouldn’t wake her up. By touching the wooden door and listening to the “voice” heard from the wood products in the room, I can see what Presha-san is doing.
There is almost no “voice” of plants from inside the room. I can see that the wooden products have shelves for storing weapons and clothes and beds, but it felt very gloomy.
…This voice… is she talking to someone? No… it’s different…
I thought I mistakenly heard it. Anyone could be sleep talking –but.
There’s a wooden bed in the room. Presha-san, who was sleeping on it, felt like crying to me.
―Mom… Forgive me…. Don’t leave me…. I’ll be a good girl….―
What do those words mean? Even if I don’t understand, I experience some sort of pain that makes me feel like something is crushing my heart.
Right now, she is dreaming. There is a way to see if this is what Raquel-san calls as “nightmare”―with the help of Arlaune, a spirit that makes it possible to touch people’s hearts.
I placed a bulb as a medium near my feet then I chanted in a small voice.
“Oh lustrous flower that blooms in the enchanted garden… Appear in this world once and show your power.”
In response to my summon, grass roots form a magic circle around the bulb. Then the flowers bloomed and Arlaune appeared.
“Thank you for calling me, Summoner-sama. Fuaah, recently whenever I’m summoned, it’s always pitch black outside nanodesu.”
“I’m sorry, for calling you this late at night.”
“I can make a lot of nutrients even in the moonlight nodesu. Please take a look, my leaves are so lively nodesu.”
Laune shows the flowers blooming on her head. It looks like a flower hair ornament but it absorbs the moonlight that shines into this corridor and converts it into magical power.
“…I can hear Presha-onesan crying nodesu. Summoner-sama wants to help her, right?”
“I would like to do that if possible. But… though I’m already up here, entering her room while she sleeps is …”
“Now is not the time to say that nodesu. It seems very painful nanodesu. If her nightmare continues like this, her heart will be eroded more and more nodesu. A sad dream is like a bug that kills the roots of flowers nanodesu.”
Arlaune desperately appeals to me. Dite-san was also insomniac and was worn out, but in order to maximize the power that Presha-san have, it’s naturally better not to have any nightmares.
While I’m thinking like this, Raquel-san and Dite-san came to see the situation before returning to their room.
“…It seems that you’re holding back so I need to tell you after all. Not long ago, when Presha was dreaming, I was with her since we used to sleep together. Only I, who has the longest relationship with her, can calm her down… However, Presha has grown up now. She doesn’t want to be spoiled by me so she started to sleep alone but… to be honest, I can’t help but be worried.”
“Presha said she was worried about letting Grass-sensei and another woman in the same room. She would have been willing to let Sensei stay in her room. Though this is just a possibility, but if that really happened and she showed Sensei herself having nightmare… perhaps that would make Presha suffer.”
Being in the same room as me is just an example. Dite-san wants to say that Presha-san will always try to be strong in front of me and hide the fact that she’s having nightmares.
“If Presha invites Grass to her room, at that time she won’t show you her “current state”. There’s no meaning then. I want Grass to look at her room right now. It may be an excessive interference but she’s in a state where leaving her alone will…”
“I understand. If Presha-san gets angry when I entered the room without her permission, I will accept and resign myself to it. Though I will try to avoid that as much as possible.”
“Saying everything is your responsibility and taking the burden on yourself is Sensei’s bad habit desuwa. We and Presha are colleagues, and it may look like I’m saying something naïve but… we are companion who spent long time together. The one that child will get angry with, should be us for our nosiness.”
Raquel-san nods to Dite-san’s words then she quietly opened the door. I went inside the room with Laune and look around –accepting the scene as it is.
If Raquel-san hadn’t told me in advance, I would have been shaken. Perhaps it was made by the spear, there are many scratches on the wall and floor that look like they have been cut, and there are also traces of repairs.
Near the wall of the room was an old wooden bed that was unlikely to be used by a Knights’ executive. Presha-san is not lying on it but was sitting while holding something and leaning against the wall. What she holds is a worn out doll. And the spear leaning against the bed is always within her reach.
“…Summoner-sama, you shouldn’t approach now nanodesu. If it’s not Raquel-neesan and you approach Presha-neesan, for sure…”
Even in this state, everyone in the Knights treated Presha-san as a “captain”. That’s because Presha-san’s pride as a knight has nothing to do with her trauma.
“It’s as what Laune says. Right now, you are not allowed to get any closer.”
The anger she showed when blaming her compatriots for betrayal against our country, Lezenia. To say it nicely, it was hatred. While fighting together, she recognized me as a companion and called me “sensei”. Still, somewhere, I felt that there was something I couldn’t understand with regards to Presha-san.
“…Good grief, what an incompetent doctor I am. Somewhere in my heart, I was scared when I saw Presha-san’s strength. And I dare saying that I wanted to heal her wounds.”
“Summoner-sama…”
The floor under my feet is also scratched with a spear. If I took one step further, I may be attacked by her while she’s having a nightmare.
“I will fill this distance. Arlaune, can you lend me your power?
“… Yes. If it’s for Summoner-sama, it’s rather easy nanodesu…”
Laune answers then she touches the ground. Arlaune’s vines that grew from my feet entwined, runs along the floor then reached Presha-san’s bed.
And the vines make a single flower. The flower opens scattering pollen around that leads me to sleep –while keeping the consciousness of me and Presha-san connected.
I will make her show me the dream she been dreaming of. Even if I could imagine how painful it was, I didn’t want to step back from where I was standing.
◆◇◆
There is a sound of something like metal colliding with each other. The sound of horse hoofs, the sound of people in armor walking –and screams.
What is this I’m seeing? In the faded scene, only the black smoke rising in the sky and the red color of the flames burning the houses are vividly colored.
“―Mom! Just wait, I’m gonna help you soon … uh!”
That voice is a little younger than her current voice and still contains innocence but― it certainly belongs to Presha-san. This is the dream that Presha-san has. As a child, she picks up a wooden staff and runs to her village, which is being attacked by someone.
Stop, don’t go … Presha-san, if you go now, you’ll be killed…!
“Waaaaaaaaa!”
This is an event that happened in the past. Soldiers raising the flag of the enemy country― it’s not Zirconia, it’s the scene of the army of the “Grunica City Alliance”, a country facing the eastern border of the kingdom, attacking the village.
From the moment our consciousness connected, Presha-san’s memory flows into me. However, the enormous amount of information and her emotions burned into that memory cause tearing pain ―not in my body which is not here but directly into my heart.
The young Presha-san runs with all her might―jumping through a hole in the fence that surrounds the village which was destroyed by force and even if the enemy cavalry notices her, she runs at a speed you can’t believe for a child.
“Mom, mom, mom…!”
While roughly wiping her tears,she repeatedly calls her mother. Every time that happens, my chest tightened, but right now I can’t do anything.
―I can’t change the past. However, I am not allowed to avert my eyes. I was still just trying to see a part of how terrible the consequences of the war were. The young Presha-san opens the door to her own house, the house that seems to have been burned.
“…..Mom….?”
Even if I want to shout “don’t look”, I can’t change her past actions.
Presha-san follows the blood stains left on the wooden floor and proceeds to the back of the house. Then, she enters the dining room where she should have eaten with her mother and witnesses the randomly destroyed room. Everything else turns gray. However, only the blood that has flowed to Presha-san’s feet burns my view red above anything else.
“…Nooooooo…!”
Dropping off the staff she was holding, Presha-san rushed to her mother, who had already stopped moving, and clung to her body. Memories of her time with her mother flowed into me. It loses its color one by one until it is painted black.
The last word Presha-san’s mother said, “Today is Presha’s birthday, so I’ll put all my skills to make a delicious food.”
“If only I go home a little earlier.” “If only I pushed my selfishness and take her with me to the forest”― while having such regrets, Presha-san noticed it. The needle wound on her mother’s fingertips while she was griping her hand.
In the room that had been mowed down, “it” was in the wreckage of furnitures. A hand-sewn doll that her mother probably made for Presha-san.
Prepared gifts to please children were rarely available in this village. Presha-san, who wanted the expensive paper book in the village, knew that her mother was making dolls, but she could not feel happy with it.
Presha-san holds the doll with her blood-soaked hands. When she hugged it, a shadow extending from behind was reflected in front of her.
“If you didn’t come back, you wouldn’t have to die … don’t blame me for this.”
―When she heard that voice, she didn’t cower in fear.
Reflexively, she picked up the staff beside her and swing it to the man behind him, who might have come to take away her mother.
“Guu … this brat…!”
It’s a sharp blow ―but it couldn’t be a deadly blow against a soldier covered in armor.
The soldier got furious at the unexpected counterattack and brandished his longsword. It can’t be repelled with a wooden staff ―Still, Presha-san chose to sacrifice herself in order to stab the enemy and prepare to unleash a thrust.
“–Ahhhhh …!”
It doesn’t matter if I’m killed. Only this man, with my own hands―.
The thrust that she unleashed to hit her enemy, completely cuts only an empty space. That’s because a weapon with a huge mass mowed down the soldier where he stands. A master with a steel cavalry lance ―a black-haired knight with the same spirit as she is now, Raquel-Litkasha, was there on the ground.
“Aah… ahh…”
The blown enemy soldier did not move. Raquel-san’s eyes shows traces of sorrow when she sees Presha-san holding a staff.
“…I’m sorry. If we have arrived a little earlier…”
Even if she knows that they are allies, Presha-san can’t lower her wooden staff. Her emotions that have nowhere to go makes her unable to move freely. She can only stare at the knights who saved her. Even so, Raquel-san kept silently faced Presha-san.
“…You fought well. However, it is difficult to survive in this desolate battlefield just by using a staff.”
“…I’ll be together… with my mom… she won’t leave me alone. This is… Something like this…”
Is just a bad dream. Before Presha-san can say that, Raquel-san let go of her cavalry lance and appeared in front of Presha-san holding a staff without fear of being attacked.
“―Stay away!”
Raquel-san avoided the staff swung reflexively by simply tilting her head then grab it.
“Release me…! Release me…!”
“…You have the talent for martial arts. The enemy troops that attacked your village were wiped out by our Lezenia Kingdom’s Army… Under the command of My Lord, Her Royal Highness, Astina.”
“I don’t know any of that … Even though our village wasn’t at fault …”
“…No matter how strong you became, you cannot protect everything. However, our army wants to make it possible. Even if it is just a distant ideal.”
The force she put into the staff loosens. It was because she saw tears on Raquel-san’s cheeks.
Her field of vision became blurry. Presha-san cried once again― she who forgot to cry even when faced with sufferings, only remembers when she saw Raquel-san’s tears. The dropped staff rolls on the floor. Raquel-san also knelt on the floor and hugged Presha-san.
That was the beginning.
A knight named Presha Hortensia was born on the day she lost everything.
This is translated by Yume Neiji. Kindly read at yumeineijiworks.wordpress.com.
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