Author: Yume Neiji

“Daishi-san, that thing…”

“Yeah… it’s probably that, right…?”

“Huh? You two actually know what that is?”

There was no certainty in my voice. Just a hunch—an instinct born from experience. Of course, I could also be wrong. But judging from Satsuki-chan’s reaction, she seemed to recognize the feeling of it too. There was something familiar about the presence it gave off, something she couldn’t quite ignore.

“…Where did you find it?”

“Find it? It’s not like that. It’s been sitting there, like that, ever since I first arrived. I can’t move it at all.”

Raika replied with a troubled look.

According to her, even the plate had already been prepared from the very beginning.

“I tried everything—cutting it, cooking it in different ways—but it just wouldn’t respond. The little table and the plate won’t budge either, so I had no choice but to leave it there as it is.”

Leaving it like that…

It was a bit far away, but I could still make out its shape. Just like last time, it was probably raw. And those faintly yellowish-white folds, layered over one another—like thin membranes stitched together.

That thing is most likely…

> Organs… have… returned!

> I swear I’ve seen this kind of development before, lol

> Is that… intestines?

> Yeah, probably some kind of innards

> No way… again?

> Who the hell set this up here, lol

> It’s basically begging to be eaten at this point

> Oh god, that stinks!

> If you eat that, won’t you unlock something again?

> So, what will you do, our Daishi?!

“Clairvoyance!”

I couldn’t help myself—I activated it on the spot.

“…Raw… teppō…”

“R-rectum… right?”

Satsuki-chan muttered under her breath.

Apparently, she’d been examining it with her appraisal skill as well.

Seriously—who the hell writes these descriptions like they’re some kind of food review?

“L-let’s just leave it for now!”

“R-right!”

Satsuki-chan and I were in complete agreement.

“I don’t really get what’s going on, but… have you made up your mind to eat my cooking? I guarantee the taste, so go on—don’t hold back and dig in!”

There was no point overthinking it. We wouldn’t be getting out of here unless we ate anyway. Whether or not to try the raw teppō could wait. Right now, I am starving—and more than anything, I want to enjoy these incredible dishes she’d gone through the trouble of preparing.

“Well then… itadakimasu.”

After the customary pre-meal greeting, I decided to start with the dish that had caught my eye the most during my Clairvoyance inspection—the ikarugo sashimi.

I flipped my chopsticks around and served myself onto a small plate.

Translucent white slices. At a glance, it looked exactly like squid sashimi. There was no smell, and the pleasant firmness as I picked it up with my chopsticks only made it more appetizing. It reminded me of my old corporate-slave days—those lonely evenings when I’d grab discounted sashimi from the local supermarket the moment they slapped on the half-price sticker.

“Oh, the soy sauce is over there. Just use as much as you like.”

There was even a small dish meant for sashimi, so I poured some soy sauce into it and lightly dipped the slices. Coated in just the right amount of that dark liquid, I popped three or four pieces of ikarugo sashimi into my mouth at once.

“…Ahh… I want a drink so bad.”

It was that good. The kind of taste that made you crave a cup of sake.

“Sorry, I don’t have any alcohol here.”

Honestly, I wasn’t about to complain.Just this sashimi alone was more than enough to fill me with a deep sense of satisfaction.

> Watching Mister eat sashimi like this is hilarious

> We don’t need a full food review, man

> Talking about alcohol? That’s a luxury

> Just tell us what happened to your stats

> It’d be funny if they dropped hard lol

> Would be nice if it restored MP or something

Right… There was a chance my stats had decreased.

At the very least, I am glad I hadn’t dropped dead from a single bite.

I didn’t feel any different, but… what had actually happened to my status?

—Whoa! My MP’s completely restored!

And my Intelligence even went up by one—barely, but still, an increase!

Man, I’m ridiculously lucky.

“Hey—wait! That’s not fair!”

Satsuki looked up at the sky, on the verge of tears.

“Huh? What did you eat? What happened?”

“The roasted boar… one bite and my Vitality dropped by ten…”

“Ouch… that’s rough…”

“…How about you, Daishi?”

“Full MP recovery. And Intelligence +1.”

“Which one? Which one did you eat?!”

“This squid-looking thing, but—whoa!”

“I’m eating that too!”

Before I could stop her, Satsuki practically snatched the plate of ikarugo I’d been eating and stuffed three slices into her mouth without even dipping them in soy sauce.

“This should restore my MP too—wait, why?!”

“Huh? Don’t tell me…”

“My max MP dropped by fifty…”

“H-hang in there…”

So it wasn’t tied to specific dishes after all.

It seemed like the effects were determined randomly with each bite.

“In that case—I’m going all in!”

Satsuki-chan snapped. She piled dish after dish onto her plate and started devouring everything in one go.

“Hey, that’s terrible table manners, Satsuki!”

“At this point, whatever happens, happens!”

Well, overthinking it wouldn’t help…

Still, it felt like such a waste. With food this incredible, you’d think she’d savor it.

As for me, I decided to take my time and enjoy every bite.

◆◆◆

“Phew… that hit the spot.”

“Haa..haa..haa…”

While I sat there, completely satisfied, Satsuki-chan was beside me, breathing heavily. In the end, none of the dishes I ate afterward caused any further changes to my status. I finished this whole ordeal with my MP fully restored and my Spirit up by one.

Satsuki-chan, on the other hand, seemed to have gone through a rollercoaster of stat changes, but by the end she’d managed to recover a bit of MP and fill her stomach.

At least it hadn’t turned into a complete disaster.

“Mm! Looks like you’re both full! And nothing too terrible happened—good, good.”

“…It definitely shaved a few years off my life, though.”

Satsuki-chan looked like she’d taken some serious mental damage. Honestly, I couldn’t blame her.

“Well then, I’ll clean this up, so you two can head on to the next floor—”

“Hey, Daishi-san. Aren’t you forgetting that?”

“Ah.”

I’d been so busy enjoying the incredible food, it completely slipped my mind.

Right… that was still there. My stomach’s already full, though.

“…It’s blocking the exit. That… organ.”

“How the hell did it even move? And with the table and plate, too…”

For some reason, the Raw Teppō of the Nether King had planted itself right in front of the stairway leading down to the next floor—firmly blocking our path.

This is translated by Yume Neiji. Kindly read at yumeneijiworks.com

Previous ⚜ Table of Contents ⚜ Next

“Ara, Satsuki? It’s been a while!”

“It’s been so long! Raika-san!”

As soon we entered the room, Satsuki-chan exchanged greetings with a woman who looked a little older and was busily moving around inside.

Apparently, they knew each other.

“Oh my, is the handsome guy behind you your boyfriend?”

“N-no! He’s just… uh- well, a monitored subject!”

So she’s not even hiding it anymore.

Monitored subject. She actually said it out loud. I kind of wish she had gone with “friend” at least.

But more importantly… is this really inside a dungeon?

It felt more like a…

> Yep, this is definitely a gourmet house

> Looks delicious

> The monster dishes lined up on the counter are still beautifully presented

> Oh, there’s chimera stew!

> Whole roasted wild boar!

> There’s even ikarugo sashimi!

> Every time I see this, it just looks like a buffet restaurant lol

> Raika-san’s aura is insane

> Raika-san is an elf, right?

> Age unknown

> Rumor says she’s been here since the dungeon was first created

The word “elf” caught my attention.

Now that I looked closely, Raika-san’s ears were nothing like a human’s. They were longer, sharply pointed. Her eyes were green as well. And when I matched her appearance with my game knowledge, there was nothing that contradicted the idea that she was, indeed, an elf.

“Today I managed to get some really good ingredients, so I think everything turned out delicious. Help yourselves!”

“Whoo! Can’t wait!”

Satsuki-chan immediately took a seat at the counter stool. Across from her, Raika-san continued moving between the counter and the sink—serving plates, washing dishes, working as if this were completely normal. Meanwhile, Satsuki-chan was already holding chopsticks and a plate, scanning the spread like a kid in a candy store.

“Hmm, what should I pick~? Oh, Daishi-san, you should eat too!”

She was already dividing up portions onto her plate, urging me to hurry. Even if she knows the owner and has been here before… isn’t it a bit too shameless to start eating immediately?

And more importantly—was this place even free?

“Hey, handsome boy. What’s your name?”

“Ah—Ajiri Daishi.”

“Daishi-kun, got it. This is your first time here, right? You know the rules?”

Raika-san spoke rapidly, one question after another.

She really does have that talkative, Kansai-like energy… no, no, better not go there.

“I’m a beginner, actually. So there are rules? Can you please explain them?”

“Ahaha, figured as much. Oh! Satsuki, could you listen too before eating? The rules changed a bit.”

“Ah? Y-yes!”

Satsuki-chan is just about to put the food in her mouth. She quickly closed her mouth and reluctantly placed the fish-like dish back onto her plate.

“This is the ‘Gourmet House.’ It’s a lucky room that occasionally appears in randomly generated dungeon chambers, where starving explorers are treated to the finest cuisine.”

“Well, it’s basically the same as a Unique Room. Unlike that wicked rabbit’s room, this place is safe though.”

“By ‘wicked rabbit,’ you mean the Space-Time Rabbit?”

Raika-san turned the question back toward Satsuki-chan.

“Yes. I encountered it for the first time in my entire exploration history on the first basement floor.”

“In this beginner dungeon? That’s unfortunate.”

So even Raika-san knew about the Space-Time Rabbit.

I started to wonder—how exactly do all these systems connect? What’s the network behind all this dungeon logic?

But well, whatever. I’m hungry.

“You can eat whatever you like. However, this place is designed so that you cannot leave until you’re completely full. The only clear condition is to reach satiety—so make sure you eat until you’re satisfied.”

What a happy room!

I didn’t mind the idea of eating monsters so much anymore—especially not when the food looked this good. If anything, not getting full here would probably be the harder task.

Clearing this was basically guaranteed.

“Oh, and one more thing, the dishes here don’t just fill your hunger. They also restore HP and MP, and some even raise your stats. It might be fun for you to check your status as you eat.”

“Ohh! That’s amazing! So if I want to recover MP, which one should I eat?”

“Now, which one do you think?”

“…Huh?”

“I’m not that kind. It’s random.”

She smiled softly—but there was a faint hint of mischief in it.

Yeah… of course it wasn’t going to be that convenient.

“And also, Satsuki. Up until now, it worked the same way as before… but starting today, the system has changed slightly.”

“Eh? Really?”

“Yes. Previously, the only option was whether your stats would increase or not. But apparently that was considered too lenient… so an additional rule has been added.”

“What is it?”

“Some dishes that lower your stats have been added.”

“…Huh?”

Satsuki-chan’s expression visibly changed. She stared intently at the fish-like monster dish she had almost just eaten.

“Sorry. This isn’t something I get to decide.”

“Which ones lower stats?!”

“I don’t know that either. And just so you know… how much they lower your stats is also completely unknown.”

…Isn’t this suddenly a massive difficulty spike?

Just eating until you’re full could make you weaker—or in the worst case, even put your life at risk. Which can be considered dangerous, in a sense.

> Random stat debuffs is wild lol

> Can’t you see it with Clairvoyance?

> Dying from eating food is kinda rough

> Things are getting weird again

Actually, I already used Clairvoyance beforehand to inspect the dishes. I could roughly tell what kind of meat they were, and what they might taste like… But when it came to whether stats would go up or down, I couldn’t see anything. It seemed that kind of effect only revealed itself after eating.

“Oh, but I do have one piece of advice. It might not be very helpful, though.”

“What is it?”

“That dish on the very edge—don’t eat it. Absolutely don’t.”

She shifted her gaze to that dish. On a small table placed slightly apart from everything else sat a single plate. Something rested on it. Something that gave off an atmosphere that vibrates and creaks, as if even space itself was straining around it.

I am not using Clairvoyance right now and yet I could still feel it. A clear malevolent aura is radiating from that “food.”

Wait—

I suddenly remembered, very vividly. I encountered something with almost identical presence in the past… and I had eaten it.

This is translated by Yume Neiji. Kindly read at yumeneijiworks.com

Previous ⚜ Table of Contents ⚜ Next

“Y-You! Why didn’t you increase your MP when you leveled up?!”

We had already broken through the labyrinth zone and were descending the stairs leading underground. After utterly demolishing the dungeon, I suddenly wondered what had happened to my MP, so I opened the status screen.

Satsuki-chan immediately yelled at me.

“I-I mean… from my past experience…”

“Does Strength at 999 even matter?! You need to actually think about this stuff!”

Why am I the one getting yelled at? I did my best, you know. It’s not like I need skills if my Strength is at 999 anyway. My Endurance is high too, so I should be fine in close combat. A pure brute-force, one-punch, instant-kill build—simple and reliable.

But still, why did my MP drop to zero?

It’s probably just that either [Return] or [Burial Fist] had absurdly heavy consumption.

But which one was it?

Both of them are way too dangerous to tell.

By the way, I didn’t level up in the Labyrinth Zone. I was supposedly “sending off” not just walls, but monsters and traps all at once, so I thought I’d level up for sure.

Well, maybe the monsters there were just too weak for me to level up?

As we made our way over the rubble, I noticed scattered remains that looked like monsters—but they were so badly destroyed that I couldn’t even tell what they originally were.

“Maybe it just looked fancy on the outside, but there was nothing inside?”

> Didn’t you get a bit carried away after reaching Nether Class?

> Like the rabbit said, dungeon exploration isn’t just about stats and skills.

> You can’t get overconfident with your abilities.

> Also, pick up the deep-sea super-ore lol

> It’s a super rare material (laughs)

> There might’ve been some good loot too

> After causing that level of destruction, I kinda get why you’d just zone out though

> You two are basically failing as explorers

> It feels like things are going too smoothly… there’s probably a trap coming

> It almost feels like it’s been set up

> Is this dungeon just for middle-aged men??

> Something must’ve happened here five years ago…

> Daishi-san is handsome so it’s fine

> That dungeon destruction was cool too!

It seemed like the viewers were giving all kinds of criticism and advice.

But the word “handsome” was shining brighter than anything else. And before I knew it, I was grinning without even realizing it.

“Are you seriously just checking the comments again… why are you grinning like that… gghhh—”

Hn?

 That “gghhh” sound just now came from Satsuki-chan’s stomach.

Ah? Don’t tell me… she’s hungry!

“W-wait! That’s not it!”

“Not what?”

“My stomach didn’t just make that sound!”

“Relax, it’s fine. You’re human. Of course your stomach growls when you’re hungry.”

“That’s not the point! Geez… Daishi-san, you really don’t understand a girl’s feelings!”

Girl’s feelings, huh?

A bit late for that though. She’s a good kid, sure… but in my head she’s already firmly in the “little devil” category.

“But yeah… I am kinda hungry too.”

I entered the West Tokyo Fourth Beginner Dungeon around 10 a.m. It had already been about two hours, so it’s probably time for lunch.

“I’ve got some portable nutrient rations. Want some?”

“I have my own too, so I’m fine.”

“I see. Then let’s eat before we reach the third basement floor.”

“…Yeah.”

For some reason, Satsuki-chan looked a little disappointed.

But it’s not like we’re short on food, so there’s no reason for that reaction. Modern portable rations don’t even taste that bad. A bit dry, sure—but you just wash it down with water and it’s fine.

“…Sigh. If this were a normal dungeon, I was hoping we could enjoy some wild boar meat or something.”

“Wild boar?”

“Yeah. It’s a monster that shows up fairly often below the second basement floor in this dungeon.”

“You mean you eat it?”

“Of course. You hunt it, cook it, eat it. Pretty standard for explorers.”

So monsters can be eaten huh.

Well… slimes and skeletons are probably off the menu. But beast-type monsters might be fair game.

Wild boar… yeah, that sounds like a pig.

“But from what we’ve seen so far, it doesn’t look like anything edible is going to show up…”

“Guess we’ll stick with rations then.”

“Sigh. What a let down.”

Honestly, I wasn’t too keen on eating monsters anyway, so these stick-shaped cookie-like rations are more than enough.

…Let’s just forget that raw liver incident.

“Alright, I’ll eat mine—huh? Sniff sniff…”

“Don’t you smell something?”

“Yeah… something like really good meat roasting…”

Below the spiral staircase we were descending. A thin trail of white smoke drifted upward, carrying an irresistible BBQ-like aroma that tickled the nose.

“Oh! Maybe!”

“You know something, Satsuki-chan?”

“This is perfect timing! Yes!”

She pumped her fist like she’d figured everything out.

What’s down there?

At least tell me too!

> Is this a gourmet house??

> Perfect timing lol

> You can recover MP from this!

> Maybe even stat boosts!

> Hope there’s good ingredients

> I wanna try dungeon gourmet too

> A rare “gourmet room” equivalent to unique rooms

> This stream is gonna blow up again

“Daishi-san! Let’s go!”

“O-okay…”

She grabbed my hand and dashed toward the third basement floor. I almost tripped trying to keep up, but we reached the door.

The smoke was clearly seeping out from beyond it. Whatever was ahead… it definitely wasn’t combat.

For the first time, it felt like we might actually get a break.

“Open!”

Satsuki-chan shoved the wooden door open with force.

Light spilled out from within.

The moment we saw what was inside—

“…Woah!”

This… might be paradise.

This is translated by Yume Neiji. Kindly read at yumeineijiworks.wordpress.com.

Previous ⚜ Table of Contents ⚜ Next