Chapter 83: Flightless bird

Raquel-san took Presha-san to the headquarters of the Eastern Front, where she decided to study as a knight candidate at a Knights’ Training Academy.

Although there were few opportunities to receive guidance from Raquel-san, Presha-san kept her words well and devoted herself in training so she won’t lose to the male candidates. However, to build up her present self, that memory of Presha-san which was filled with bitterness was left untouched.

At first, it was a stick that had no weight, she wields it 300 times a day. When she felt that there’s no change, she made her own training device (a stick with a weight attached on it) and kept swinging it outside of her regular class hours.

Presha-san, who had short hair and looked like a boy, was told by the boys that she was a “feminine man”, but she couldn’t care less. She wants to become a knight, and to achieve that goal, she decided that it was meaningless to be conscious of her gender.

She overcame excessive training for a girl at an early age of 10 by spending her magical powers on physical recovery. Thus she acquired physical abilities that could not be imagined from her petite body. There, she learned about spirit magic and her path to becoming a magician was lost ―she didn’t realize her accomplishment as a magic warrior, but the people around her noticed that extraordinary power and gradually, they became afraid of her.

Eventually, Presha-san began to participate in mock battles, manipulating a stick far longer than her own height. Since she’s just like a beast that greedily aimed at her opponent’s weak point, she ended up being called in another term, a “wolf in sheep’s clothing”.

There is no one who can beat her, even the instructors can’t. Two years after becoming a knight candidate, by only her Taijutsu performace, the petite 12 year old girl became a leader.

―However, Presha-san’s desire to be placed on the front line did not come true and the one who was selected as an officer was a male candidate with noble bloodline. He’s an 18 year old youth. And as he may have been a little proud, he unabashedly mocked Presha-san who he could never defeat in Taijutsu.

“You are so cocky in spite of being a poor. Just because the non-commissioned officers liked you, you got conceited. Look, the place that you hit is still swollen. What will you do about it?”

“…I don’t know that one. I don’t remember hitting it during the training.”

“Even if you don’t remember, it’s right here!”

He took a number of his male followers and took them to the back of the school building so that Presha-san couldn’t fight back. With a sense of security and triumph, he approaches Presha-san, who is just standing there and touches her chin.

“Know your position. Poor people should stay put like a poor person does. Even you, can’t do anything without a weapon.”

Why can a person have such malicious intent towards others? I can’t keep still even though this incident happened in the past. However, this is already an event that happened in the past and all I can do is watch. But―

“Haha, have you finally understood? Fine then, I’ll carry out what is the fitting discipline for a bitch’s child like you. Hey, keep an eye out so no one can come here.”

From the next moment, the memory is a bit fuzzy. I can only interpret it as her burning anger and murderous intent.

“―Don’t say bad things about my mother!”

Presha-san didn’t have her stick with her. So the boys who surrounded her were all unguarded ―but,

“Thi― This girl… Guaa!”

Presha-san first aimed at the opponent who had a weapon –a wooden sword for self-defense. She took control over him with only her Taijutsu. In a blink of an eye, she swiftly steals the weapon from the opponent’s hands and heads straight for the noble youth who mocked her.

“I will never forgive anyone who insults my mother …!”

“Hiii…!”

The young noble screams pathetically. With an intent to take his life, Presha-san swings up the wooden sword with all her strength. However,

“Uh…Let go… let go… this guy… this guy uh… to my mother…!”

It was Raquel-san who grabbed the wooden sword with an amazing grip and stopped it. Her aura has changed a lot with her short hair, but there is no doubt about it, she was more like a warrior now than when she brought Presha-san here. Even I couldn’t help but tremble just looking at her in this memory.

“I will listen to her story in the guidance room. Report your actions to your instructor. It’s no longer class hours now so go back to your dormitory immediately.”

“S-Stop bullshitting me… t-this girl tried to kill me! She dared to hit me, a candidate successor of the Viscount family, with a wooden sword! Can such thing be forgiven!?”

The noble youth keeps blabbering and even put himself on the pedestal to make excuses. Seeing that, Raquel-san said nothing and just looked around the three people surrounding Presha-san.

“…Why did you call her, a junior student alone? According to the rules of the Knights’ Training Academy, other than school works, personal interference with the opposite sex should have been forbidden.”

“W-Well, that’s because… t-this girl was so defiant against us… hiii…!”

Raquel-san, who had not shown any emotional movement until that moment, had this sharp glint in her eyes –that alone made the noble youth tremble and move back a few steps. 　

“It is forbidden to fight privately with other candidates or to put pressure on them in groups. If such a thing were done, the punishment would be severe but…”

“…W-We… did not do anything. I never planned to beat…”

“Enough with that. If you’re spreading around some malicious content about her, this will be considered as a problem for the entire training academy.”

“Kuu… uh…”

Unable to face Raquel-san’s gaze, the young man looks at Presha-san with regret. He also had another emotion other than hostility and fear of her.  That’s right, it’s fascination.

What was his purpose of calling Presha-san? Even after I realized that, I can only think of it as he’s too childish. What would be the point of telling someone who you like by force.

“Da, Dadram-sama, for the time being it’s better to pull…”

“Tsk… I already know that without you telling me! Let’s go…!”

A young man called Dadram quickly leaves with his followers in tow. Presha-san, who was the only one who remained there, was still looking down and she wouldn’t let go of the wooden sword.

“…It’s not the right weapon for you. I promise to give you a spear when you became a quasi-knight. I you can’t endure the things here, you can’t achieve that either.”

Presha-san learned the spear from Raquel-san only during Raquel-san’s short stay at the training academy. However, Presha-san looked up to Raquel-san as her spear teacher. Otherwise, Presha-san would have struck Raquel-san as well as she was not herself back then. Presha-san has never forgiven anyone who has insulted her mother and in order not to make Raquel-san sad, she contained her murderous intent.

“I… I can never be like Raquel-ane. I have to put up with it until I become a knight in order to defeat my mother’s enemies…”

“…Presha, if I were in the same situation as you, I would have been just as incensed. You don’t have to be ashamed of that. If you swing your spear to protect your pride, I think I shouldn’t have stopped that.”

“……No. If I killed him, his noble parents will surely show up and try to execute me… If that happens, Raquel-ane who brought me here will be inconvenienced. I know I’m stupid but I do know that much.”

Presha-san spoke resolutely but she cannot hide the trembling of her voice. Raquel-san hesitated a bit but in the end, she did not hug Presha-san like how she used to. At the training academy, you really won’t know who has their eyes on you. If rumors spread that Raquel-san, an active military officer, made things for the convenience of Presha-san, who’s also one of the candidates, it could jeopardize Presha-san’s position.

“Some people forget their aspirations to protect the country and deviate sideways to satisfy their desires. Presha… I and my Lord, never forgive such people. This dirty water doesn’t fit you, qualify as a knight as soon as possible.”

“……Yes. Raquel-ane… I wonder if I can go… to the place where I want to go.”

Presha-san’s words were not only directed to Raquel-san in front of her. It’s also for someone who isn’t here –Presha-san spoke with an empty gaze while looking somewhere far away.

“…..You’ll be able to go there, I promise you that. But please don’t forget, hurrying to live is not going to make up for anything.”

Her voice seemed to be trembling as she stifled her emotions. Presha-san’s anxious heart softened slightly. She certainly felt comforted by Raquel-san’s words. And―

“Thank you, Raquel-ane. I’m going to be stronger than ever before on the battlefield. I want to repay you for everything you’ve done for me.”

I think she said that with a smile. I’m looking at these past events from Presha-san’s point of view so I don’t really know what her expression is.

―But those words were only meant to cover up her true feelings. Even if she was now pulled back from the darkness by Raquel-san’s hand, all along, Presha-san could still hear that voice. When Raquel-san turned back and walked away, Presha-san looked at the wooden sword and said,

“……I’m sorry, Raquel-ane. I……”

Presha-san had already been able to use her magic power unknowingly to strengthen her physical abilities. Her emotions that had no place to go were put into the hand that held the wooden sword’s hilt – the wooden sword, which should not have been shattered by the girl’s grip, creaked and snapped with a cracking sound.

The sharp edges of the snapped wood scratched Presha-san’s palm. Presha-san did not hesitate to put her lips on her hand as her blood on it runs down her fingers. She feels no pain. Presha-san did not even care about the wounds that would otherwise require immediate treatment.

―She had lost her sense of being alive long ago. It wasn’t her own will that drove her to this point though, but that voice that she kept hearing.

　◆◇◆

Then, about a year passed.

Presha-san was given the title of a quasi-knight, the youngest at the time, and was assigned to the front line of the Eastern Front as requested by Raquel-san, who wanted her to be her subordinate.

The first unit that Presha-san belonged to was the 57th Cavalry Squadron led by Astina-denka. Presha-san, who had studied horsemanship at the training academy, was given her own horse and the long spear that Raquel-san had promised her. And there, she demonstrated her abilities as a magic warrior and made military achievements one after another. But―

It was about three months after she was assigned to the team, Presha-san, who was on the verge of being promoted to a regular knight, was placed in a punishment cell on the Vulcanus Fortress in the eastern base.

Dressed in rags and bound with wooden fetters on her arms and legs, she was staring at the rats that lived in the corner of the prison.

“……Presha”

At the sound of that voice, Presha-san, who was sitting with her back against the wall, slowly looked up. Standing outside the bars was Raquel-san, whose hair had grown out. A magic warrior’s body metabolism was improved by magic power and her hair would grow much faster than an ordinary person. It also meant that Raquel-san was constantly putting herself in fierce battles.

Around this time, her body had already began to scream under the load ―it could be seen that she was constantly wielding the super-heavy lance on top of riding a horse. Even if it was the image in Presha-san’s memory, I could tell that.

It appears to be night time. The light coming in from the window was the moon’s light –Inside, Raquel-san was quietly staring at Presha-san.

“….Why didn’t you tell me? That you are investigating about the officers stationed in this fortress.”

“If I tell Raquel-ane…., it will trouble you…..”

When Presha-san said that in a small voice, Raquel-san couldn’t hide the distress on her face. It looked as if she was about to cry.

“They did something that should be punished… But, there should have been others ways to do it. Without you doing something that would put you in prison…….”

“….It wasn’t just the guys from the neighbouring kingdom that I had to deal with. That day… the people who negotiated to our enemies, those people who ruined my village… They are still alive and the fact that they sold out my village….. to those innocent, just like a joke….uh”

Presha-san investigated the reason why enemy forces had invaded her village –it turned out it was because the troops defending her village did not respond to the enemy forces when they attacked.

“…The troops defending the village where Presha-san lived were of low skill level and were far from the area where the battle was originally taking place. The enemy forces that set them up were cunning…..”

“But…. they ran away before Raquel-ane and the others could come to their rescue. They knew that once they came to the village, they’ll want various things. But in the end, they sold the village… They are just full of excuses, to say that it could not be helped because they had no choice….”

That was the reason why enemy forces had infiltrated across the border and raided Presha-san’s village. For the sake of temporary gain, they sold the village where the innocent people lived to the enemy forces in order to avoid the danger of fighting them their selves.

But they could not be blamed for the crime, as they were supposed to have committed a great crime against military discipline.

“….Those sons of those nobles can secure a territory by building their military exploit as knights. But not all of them are brave enough to make a difference in war.”

“Since they are nobles…… they won’t be guilty for abandoning my village and running away. They won’t even be blamed for laughing at such thing.”

Raquel-san did not answer.

I’m not that well versed with matters regarding the nobles. But even when I was at the academy, there were students who were accommodated because they came from a noble family. It’s not just about drawing the “winner” spirit, it’s also about having excellent grades.

I’ve never strongly questioned that. It’s not just a matter of being a noble, it’s a matter of being a nation where people with high family status are given preferential treatment. Now, after seeing the attitude of those noble youths towards Presha-san, I can only feel ashamed of that. But we can’t easily change the structure of the kingdon or the perception of the people either. Knowing this, Raquel-san is unable to say anything.

“My village was only worth so much to this kingdom. I’d rather fight as a knight like those traitorous guys….”

“….We talked about it sometime before. You shouldn’t stop wielding that spear if you’re trying to protect your pride.”

“Then…… why can’t I kill those guys…..? Mom says to kill them……!”

Raquel-san’s eyes widened. For the first time, at this moment, she realized the identity of the thing that is driving Presha-san.

“If I can make those guys pay for their sins….. it’s fine if I can’t become a knight.”

“What’s left if you did that……? It’s okay if you just hit them and be done with it. There’s also a problem with what they said after all… But if the same thing happens next time…”

“….Raquel-ane will also eventually listen to those noble. Raquel-ane’s family is related with the aristocrats after all… From birth, you are clearly different from me. You just feel sorry for me…”

Raquel-san took in all of Presha-san’s words in silence.

Seeing the sad look on her face, Presha-san realized it too. That there was no point in blaming Raquel-san -and that she was doing something irreversible.

Nevertheless, Presha-san, knowing that she shouldn’t say it, still said the rest of her words.

“Whether or not I could avenge my mother’s death didn’t matter to Raquel-ane……. That’s right, it doesn’t matter. I’m just a picked up child…”

Her heart was just empty. When she became Raquel-san’s subordinate and achieved her first battle, Presha-san was praised by Raquel-san. She was truly happy about it. The kind smile that the reticent Raquel-san sometimes shows in her lips made Presha admire her, and she longed to be as strong and beautiful as she was.

She cannot become strong unless she forgets to be a woman. Presha-san, who thought that, began to grow her hair because she wanted to be as close to Raquel-san’s appearance as possible. To Presha-san, Raquel-san was more important than anyone else, and she admired her so much.

But the face of her mother, who was supposed to be kind, warned Presha-san. Every time her mind tried to leave the past, there was no escape.

“…Presha. All this time, in your heart…. you didn’t believe in me, didn’t you…?”

That’s not true. She wants to answer that, but Presha-san can’t put it into words. There is no point in taking back the regret of not being able to fulfil one of her revenge on Raquel-san. Even though she knows this, Presha-san’s will is twisted by the voice she hears.

―Will you forget about me this way? Presha is a kind child.

I can hear the voice of someone who wasn’t there loud and clear. To Presha-san, it is real and not an illusion or anything else. Yes, it is definitely there. The spirit body of her mother who is trying to hold Presha-san from behind.

―You are strong, so avenge your mother’s death.

But it’s not. It’s not the mother that Presha-san knows. It’s a spirit drawn by her guilt, a spirit that has changed in response to her remorse.

Events caused by a spirit are deeply imprinted in a person’s memory. That’s why I was able to notice it. If there is a spirit doctor at the time, he might have been able to notice the disease that was consuming Presha-san earlier.

“I…. don’t believe in anyone or anything…..”

Those final words spilled out. Presha-san can’t look Raquel-san in the eye, her heart breaks and aches, but she can’t stop it. But before those empty words can come to an end, a voice reached their ears.

“Presha, about that, it can’t be your real intention.”

“Uh……, Your Highness, why are you here…..?”

The heavy air in the prison seemed to be purified by the clear qi she’s wearing.

―Astina-Lezenia. In Raquel-san’s line of sight, the third princess with golden hair, stood there wearing a silver armor.

This is translated by Yume Neiji. Kindly read at yumeineijiworks.wordpress.com.

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