According to Shizuku, the power level of a man named Yujiro Kijima was—
“If you’re talking *Gunda○, he’d be a Zaku piloted by a regular grunt. In shogi, he’d be a silver general.”
Apparently, that was the best way to put it. I couldn’t quite picture what she meant, so I asked her to elaborate.
“I’d say he’s somewhere in the middle ranks among exorcists. He’s definitely strong, but if I keep working at it, I think I could surpass him someday.”
Ah. Now I got it.
In gundam terms, he is not exactly carrying some revolutionary beam weapon like a Gelgoog. He’s more like a mass-produced unit with no groundbreaking specs, but still strong enough that you couldn’t afford to underestimate it.
Now, let’s take a look at Kijima’s stats.
| [Name] Yujiro Kijima [Gender] Male [Race] Chuunibyou [Age] 54 [Title] 8th Head of the Kijima Family; The Man Who Lost to a Four-Year-Old [Stats] ∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙Level: 68 ∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙Attack Power: 72 ∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙Defense Power: 71 ∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙ Vitality: 62 ∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙ Spirit Power: 71 ∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙ Mental Strength: 63(-25) ∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙ Agility: 64 [Abilities] Blessing of the Thunder God V [Skills] Cosplay VIII Handicrafts VII Kijima-Style Onmyodo VIII Kijima-Style Jujutsu VI [Status Ailment] Frigid Family Life: His wife has run off, and his daughter (age 4) gives him icy glares. Penalty to mental stats. ※Since he’s an exorcist, I changed “Magic Power” to “Spirit Power,” but they’re essentially the same thing! (by Alcapa) |
Talk about kicking a man while he’s down. Goddess Alcapa was absolutely brutal.Could she at least remove [Man Who Lost to a Four-Year-Old] from his list of titles?
And what the hell is [Frigid Family Life] supposed to mean? Did she really have to expose him like that? The poor guy.
And while I’m at it, there’s one more thing I’d like to point out.
If he has something called [Divine Protection of the Thunder God], shouldn’t it be a little strange for him to get knocked unconscious by lightning magic?
Seriously. Could you at least do your job properly, Thunder God?
Hoo! I’ve gotten all my complaining out of my system. Time to start thinking seriously.
If I were to compare Kijima’s stats to the other world, I’d put him around the level of a Demon Lord’s Army unit commander. Not even close to one of the Four Great Demon Generals, and he wouldn’t even measure up to the boss of a small-scale dungeon.
If that’s what counts as “middle-ranking” among exorcists—well, we should have more than enough power to repel them. There’s no way Kijima would have been stupid enough to come here all by himself, so there were almost certainly some of his people lying in wait around the apartment.
Ideally, I’d like to know exactly how many.
“Shizuku, can I ask you something?”
“My height is 155 centimeters, and my measurements are 88, 57, and 84 centimeters, from top to bottom.”
Oh, so Kijima was a busty guy, eh, wha—
“Ah, of course, those are my measurements. I’m an E-cup, by the way. E-cup.”
Who cares?
Numbers and letters are nothing but decoration. If you don’t appreciate boobs, you wouldn’t understand. Boobs are precious simply by virtue of existing. (In some mysterious dialect.)
…Phew. I’ve done it again. Another timeless quote.
Wait, this isn’t the time for a comedy routine inside my own head.
“Tell me how many enemies there are. How many people did Kijima bring with him?”
“Hmph. That’s a rather underwhelming reaction.”
Shizuku puffed out her cheeks, looking a little disappointed.
“Master looked so troubled, you see, so I, Shizuku, thought I’d put my body on the line to lighten the mood…”
“We can do that later. Right now, I need information.”
“Don’t worry. It’s just Kijima-sama.”
“Huh?”
For a moment, my mind completely stopped processing.
“You’re kidding, right? Even if he wanted to charge in himself, obviously he’d bring some subordinates to back him up—”
“He doesn’t have any subordinates. They all went over to other factions that are more sensible and actually have some power…”
“So Kijima was getting desperate to make a name for himself.”
“Then why were you following his orders, Shizuku?”
“There are all sorts of complications involving our families. But, well, I did just ditch him back there, didn’t I?”
Shizuku shrugged playfully.
“At this point, there’s only one thing left to do: go all the way. So you’ll take responsibility for this, okay, Master?”
＊ ＊ ＊
“Okay,” I said, nodding.
Then, after I nodded, I suddenly realized something.
Huh? Wait a minute.
Wasn’t this weird?
Shizuku had betrayed Kijima because she’d chosen her friendship with Phyllis over him.
I had absolutely nothing to do with it. It wasn’t a matter of whether I should take responsibility or not. I was basically unrelated to the whole thing…
“Hehehe. Everyone heard that, right? I got you to say it. I got you to give me your word.”
Shizuku laughed with an “eeheehee”, sounding almost like a witch.
“That’s right. In that case, I suppose we have no choice but to properly hire her as our butler.”
Phyllis giggled, a mischievous smile playing across her face.
“Oniisan, if you abandon her now, you’ll be no different from that Naoki guy.”
Mia piled on as well.
The odds were three to one. And to make matters worse, they were all women while I was the only man. The disparity in sexual prowess was overwhelming.
Damn it. There was no way I could win.
“—Anyway, can we get serious for a moment?”
Amid the joking atmosphere, Shizuku suddenly spoke up.
“Actually, my family is in a pretty weak position right now. I became—well, I was made to become—the head of the family just last month. But by that point, we’d already been politically cornered…”
Things have suddenly taken a heavy turn.
Shizuku is usually known for her eccentric behavior, but perhaps she’s actually carrying a lot of mental burdens.
“To be honest, the Aitori family has no future regardless of who wins the current factional struggle. So, I figured—why not go all-in on a super-promising prospect like you, Master? That’s my line of thinking.”
“A ‘super-promising prospect’? In what sense? The Kirasawa family isn’t exactly an exorcist lineage or anything like that.”
“That’s not a big issue. You have the intellect of an adult at just four years old, enough magical power to knock Kijima-sama unconscious in a single blow, and—above all—you have connections to ‘Kaguya’s Moon Princess,’ Phyllis-Iris. That’s a cheat-level advantage that completely blows family pedigree out of the water.”
Shizuku leans in close, breathing heavily with excitement.
Her face is way too close! I can smell a sweet scent coming from her. It actually made my heart skip a beat.
Also, she casually dropped that “Kaguya’s Moon Princess” title. Just to be clear, that’s a nickname Shizuku came up with on her own. It’s not an official title, so keep that in mind.
“So, when you eventually make your debut as an exorcist, I was hoping you’d consider bringing me along.”
I see. I’d thought she was just a weirdo, but it seems she’s actually thinking about the future of her house as its head.
I don’t mind that kind of sense of responsibility.
“I-It’s not like I fell for a guy ten years my junior just because he saved me from some thugs or protected me from the Black Knight, you know? Yeah. Don’t get the wrong idea about that… Don’t get the wrong idea, okay?”
Um. That last bit kind of ruined the whole thing.
Was that tacked-on tsundere act a joke, or just a way to hide her embarrassment?
I glanced over at Mia…
“I see, so she isn’t actually after Oniisan….”
She was sighing in relief.
My little sister is so trusting. I worry about her future.
With that little interlude over, I proceeded to tie up Kijima. I found the rope in Phyllis’s room.
“Master, you’re awfully practiced at this. It’s lewd… Haa, nngh…”
Shizuku was looking at me with an expression of ecstasy—and it was terrifying.
It’s not like I have a sadistic streak or anything.
It’s just from my past life—I had plenty of opportunities to restrain and interrogate members of the Demon Lord’s army.
Right, that’s done.
I can’t say I like Kijima, but I do think that onmyoji outfit looks cool. It might be fun to stroll through Kyoto wearing an eboshi hat, but I guess that’s something to think about after this whole affair is settled.
The kidnapping of Ayano Matsuki by Phyllis’s disciple. I wonder what the motive behind it could possibly be.
“A sacrifice, huh?”
Phyllis, his master, murmured the word.
“What that guy—Herbert—is trying to do is essentially a classical summoning ritual. By offering up a sacrifice, he can give physical form to a supernatural entity. Once the ritual begins, there will be little chance of saving that girl, Ayano.”
“No!”
It was Mia who cried out.
And really, who could blame her?
In her previous life, Mia—Mia Gransfield—had met a short end as a sacrifice to an evil god. After hearing that something similar was about to happen again, there was no way she could simply sit by and do nothing.
“Oniisan, lend me your strength.”
She looked straight at me, her eyes filled with determination.
By all rights, the sensible thing would have been to leave this to one of those so-called exorcist organizations. We are still only four-year-old children, after all. If we barged in where we weren’t wanted, we might just get in the way of the adults.
But—
According to Shizuku, every one of those organizations was an absolute mess, too busy undermining each other to actually investigate the case. The only exception seemed to be the Kijima faction—which currently consisted of approximately one member.
Unfortunately, that member was sleeping right beside me.
Sleeping in the sense that he’d been knocked unconscious.
Hmm. This is getting ridiculous.
“I was planning to go after Herbert anyway, but having Yoshito with me makes me feel a lot better.”
“I was hoping you’d show us your cool side again, Master.”
Phyllis and Shizuku joined in, egging me on.
“Why am I suddenly being treated like the leader here?”
“Because you’re my big brother.”
“Because you’re the boy who [Charmed] me.”
“Because you’re Master.”
Damn it. Women really were strong.
And seriously, the three of them had only just met, yet they were already way too close. Their teamwork was so flawless that I didn’t stand a chance.
That said—
“Someone we know is in danger. We can’t just abandon her, can we?”
Whatever else I might be, I was a former hero. I couldn’t just look the other way.
Besides, that game of house that had ended in a yandere route that one time…
It would be a terrible waste to lose someone talented enough to match my energy.
So—
[Let’s save Matsuki-san nice and quick, then rub it in Kijima’s face with a good old, “Nyah nyah, useless fool!”]
I was about to deliver that line with what I hoped would be an appropriately cool air. I was going to quickly fix my hair, then give him a sharp, sidelong glance.
At that very moment—
“It’s been a long time, Master.”
An unexpected interruption occured.
Between this guy and Kijima earlier, was barging into people’s homes without warning and immediately launching into a conversation some kind of new trend lately?
Well, technically, this wasn’t my house. And he hadn’t come through the door, either. He simply appeared out of nowhere in this tiny four-and-a-half-tatami room.
A tall young man. His blond hair was cut short and neatly trimmed, and he wore square, silver-framed glasses. His blue eyes gleamed with cold, calculating intelligence.
Phyllis’s disciple—Herbert, I assumed.
His entire body was wrapped in white ceremonial robes, but his figure looked slightly translucent.
“I have finally finished preparing the ritual, so I have come to deliver your invitation.”
Herbert bowed with exaggerated courtesy.
Something told me this conversation was going to take a while. More importantly—he had committed the unforgivable crime of stealing my big moment. I picked up an advertising flyer lying nearby, folded it into a paper airplane, and hurled it at him.
“Hmph. How foolish.”
Herbert dramatically brushed his hair back.
“Attack like that… attack? Well, no matter. Whatever you may attempt is futile. This is merely an illusion created by projecting mental wavelengths. I realize that explaining such things to primitive Japanese exorcists may be beyond your comprehension, but in short, it is impervious to any form of interference—BYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!?”
Herbert let out a scream that was about as unfitting for a handsome young man as it could possibly be, then collapsed.
A paper airplane was embedded in his forehead. A moment later, his figure seemed to melt away, fading into nothingness.
“Yoshito, you’re actually rather ruthless…”
Phyllis gave me an awkward look. She apparently understood exactly what I had done.
“Eh? Eeh? What just happened?”
Shizuku was completely confused, so I explained.
It was a form of mind hacking. (Think back to that little trick I pulled on Manya before.)
I had embedded a spell that synchronized with Herbert’s mental wavelength, then thrown the paper airplane at him. That paper airplane served as the starting point for the mental interference. Herbert immediately cut the connection, but when it came to constructing mental defenses, he was less than third-rate.
Thanks to that, I managed to extract the information I needed. Herbert’s location.
It was deep in the mountains, a considerable distance to the north, but we should be able to get there before dawn.
“Then we should hurry, Master. Now that Herbert knows his location has been discovered, he may move the ritual forward.”
“That won’t be a problem. Right, Yoshito?”
Phyllis gave me a light wink.
“Herbert should be unconscious by now. He might even be a vegetable.”
The possibility wasn’t exactly zero. I had forcibly extracted Herbert’s memories. A less skilled practitioner could easily have killed the target by doing something like that. Fortunately, I had plenty of experience with this sort of thing in my previous life.
Against a human opponent, I should be able to limit the damage to about half a day’s unconsciousness. Even if Herbert woke up before we got there, the splitting headache and dizziness should leave him in no condition to perform any kind of ritual.
Just to be safe, I also placed a curse on him that would make his most terrifying memories replay over and over. In other words, we had already neutralized the mastermind.
All that remained was to go pick up Matsuki-san.
A simple job…
Or so it should have been.
As luck would have it, Phyllis owned a car, so we piled in and headed north.
This is translated by Yume Neiji. Kindly read at yumeneijiworks.com
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