“Guh… That’s low…”
Naturally, the image Juda-san projected onto the wall included my parents. They were living their lives as usual—an ordinary, everyday scene. Yet, it was precisely that sense of ordinariness that made me involuntarily curse, “That’s low.”
There’s no way around this. Like Juda-san said, we’ll just have to submit to the Guild’s control and have to deal with the Loli Goddess-Loli… Wait a minute. I feel like I faced a similar situation back when I was a salaryman.
Let’s see, that time it was…
Amidst my wavering resolve, I suddenly recalled a specific negotiation from my days as a corporate drone.
◇◇◇
“Damn it! What kind of garbage unit price is that?! This is exactly why big corporations are such a pain in the ass…”
“But, Senpai… if we don’t accept the revised terms they offered, won’t they cancel the contract? They’re a major company, after all. Our profit margin will be thinner, but the volume of business would be much larger, so we should still be able to make a decent profit, right…?”
“You idiot. Once you give in to people like that, they’ll keep piling on unreasonable demands whenever they see an opening. Before you know it, you’ll be their slave. They’re no different from organized criminals.”
“But… then what are we supposed to do, Senpai? I only managed to get away from the table for five minutes by telling them I needed to check with headquarters. We’re almost out of time!”
“Hey, Daishi. What do you think our company’s biggest strength is?”
“Huh? Why are you asking me something like that at a time like this…?”
“Our company may be an unbelievably shitty black company that runs on overtime and workplace harassment, but every product we make is still top-notch. There isn’t another company out there that can produce something of that quality at our cost.”
“Yeah, I know that, but…”
“They’d be in trouble if they lost our business, too. Listen, Daishi. Big corporations use their money, status, and power to wear down their subcontractors mentally while maneuvering negotiations in their favor. In a way, that’s exactly what makes them a major corporation.”
“Yeah…”
“So, how do you get the upper hand when negotiating with people like that? The answer is simple.”
He grinned.
“Bluff.”
“Bluff?”
“Exactly. If your product has a real advantage, then you’re on equal footing with them… hell, you’re actually the one in the stronger position. Once you’ve established that, what matters is how well you can create a situation where you have the psychological advantage.”
“But bluffing against people who look that intimidating…”
“Leave this one to me. I’ll show you what a real ‘negotiation’ looks like.”
◇◇◇
“Now then. Let’s hear your answer.”
We were in Yuda-san’s office on the top floor of Guild Headquarters. The room had fallen silent as everyone stared at the images of their respective families projected across the wall.
We all understood the situation. Our families had been taken hostage. There was no question that we were at a psychological disadvantage.
I didn’t know whether the memories of my salaryman days that had just resurfaced would prove useful in getting us through this situation. But this was a moment when I, the former corporate slave and the oldest among us, had to step up.
That’s right. The most important thing is bluffing!
“Fufufu…”
“What exactly is so amusing, Daishi Ajiri? Do you not understand the situation you’re in?”
Yuda-san sounded slightly irritated.
He should have been completely confident, knowing that he had the upper hand, but perhaps my reaction wasn’t what he’d expected. For the first time, he seemed to be losing some of his composure.
…This might actually be easier than I thought.
“That’s not much of a threat, you know.”
“…What did you say?”
“If I use my 【Return】, I can summon all of our families here in an instant!”
“What!? N-No, according to our analysis of your data, your 【Return】 shouldn’t have any such function…”
“I kept it hidden.”
“W-what!?”
“I thought there might be a situation like this someday, so I’ve been hiding it all this time!!”
“Wha-!? Whaaaaat!?”
Of course, that was a lie.【Return】 could only summon people and monsters I had encountered inside a dungeon. Well, I could summon Mina-chan’s brothers, so it wasn’t entirely a lie. It was just a bluff.
“W-Wait, Daishi Ajiri! If you use a skill here, not only you but all of your companions will be sent to prison! You’ll be severely punished!”
But Yuda-san was definitely starting to panic. Maybe he was the type to back down when someone came at him aggressively.
All right. I might as well keep pushing while I had the momentum.
“Yeah. I’d certainly prefer to avoid that situation if possible… but if we do end up getting arrested, it’ll be after Guild Headquarters has been wiped off the face of the earth.”
I said it casually, but inside, my heart was pounding like crazy. I was trying my best to look cool and composed, but I was pretty sure the muscles in my face were twitching.
“Y-your threats don’t work on me, Daishi Ajiri! I have no fear of dying in the line of duty!”
“Ohhh…”
Whoosh. I lightly kicked my foot against the floor and instantly moved behind the chair Yuda-san was sitting in.
I raised my right hand and continued.
“What!?”
“Would you prefer 【Cremation】? Or perhaps 【Burial Fist】? Which would you rather have? Being burned so thoroughly that even your soul melts away, or having your body blown apart at the cellular level?”
I paused.
“Ah, if you’d like, there’s always the option of【Hell Gate】, too.”
“Y-You bastard! Do you really think you’ll get away with doing something like this…?”
“Oh, and one more thing. My 【Clairvoyance】 lets me see every bit of another person’s personal information. Their name, age, address, blood type, family members… I can even see their past life if I want.”
My voice hardened.
“An eye for an eye. A tooth for a tooth. And a hostage for a hostage.”
“Lay so much as a finger on our families, and I’ll turn every last one of you into ●●●●●, all the way down to your entire bloodline and descendants!”
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, me!
Did I really just say all that!?
Yuda-san isn’t going to snap and decide, “Screw the hostages, then,” is he?
…No. I’ve already gone this far. There’s nothing left to do but see it through!
Stare him down!
Stare him down!
I furrowed my brows and glared daggers at Yuda-san from behind like some delinquent straight out of a school-gang manga. I have to maintain the psychological upper hand!
Whatever happens, I absolutely cannot show fear!
“…”
“What happened to all that bravado from earlier? You said I wouldn’t get away with this, right? Go ahead. Do something to the hostages. Come on, I dare you!!”
For the record, Satsuki-chan and the others were completely stunned by my sudden change in attitude. Apparently, they couldn’t quite process how the kind old man they knew had suddenly turned into a delinquent.
I’ll explain everything later, so just sit tight and watch for now.
Anyway, Yuda-san remained silent, his head bowed as he stared at the floor.
I figured that meant my psychological attack had landed pretty hard.
This was my chance. I needed to press our demands all at once and completely destroy whatever advantage they thought they had!
“We’re not going to come under anyone’s control. From now on, we’ll decide everything we do oursel—”
“…Fue.”
“…Fue?”
“Fueeeeeehhh! O-Old man is bullying Yudaaaaa!!”
Huhhhhh!?
What!? What the hell just happened!?
Why was he suddenly crying in a little-girl voice!?
“Uh? Wait, um…”
“I didn’t want to use such a dirty trick either! I really, really didn’t! But the old men at World Headquarters told me I had to do it! I kept telling them I didn’t want to, but they made me do it anyway…”
“Well, isn’t that your job…?”
“Even if it’s my job, I still don’t wanna do it!”
Wait a second. So Yuda-san really is a woman after all! And she’s a seriously spoiled brat! Her voice had suddenly become so much younger and brighter, too…
I mean… she’s… kinda… CUTE!!
“Uh… Well, how about this. We don’t want to be put under anyone’s control, but we were planning to go to the Beginner Dungeon anyway. Yeah. I wanted to go talk to the Dungeon Master again, after all. I don’t know if we’ll be able to bring her to the surface, but we’ll go there and give it a shot! So let’s just call it even after that, okay?”
Every single one of my companions was giving me a look that clearly said, “What? We never agreed to this.”
But I ignored them for the moment. We have our own circumstances, but Yuda-san has her own position to consider, too.
My senpai once taught me that negotiation wasn’t about getting everything you wanted while maintaining the psychological upper hand. It was about finding a point of compromise and meeting each other halfway.
Don’t make enemies unless you absolutely have to.
Apparently, that was one of the keys to getting through life.
“Okay! That works for me! Yay! You’re really going to go?”
“Yeah. If you want, we can even go right now.”
“Really!? I’m so happy! Thank you, Daishi-kun!”
Yuda-san stood up from her chair, turned toward me, and looked straight into my eyes as she clasped both of my hands tightly in hers.
“…”
That face was so freaking adorable.
“J-Just don’t you dare lay a hand on the hostages!”
“I don’t want to die yet, either! I promise!”
“…”
That smile.
Absolutely adorable.
This is translated by Yume Neiji. Kindly read at yumeneijiworks.com
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