“Daishi… Ajiri?”
The damn Goddess looked genuinely bewildered. Even though she was the Dungeon Master, apparently she hadn’t foreseen a future where I would actually descend upon this place.
“(But… somehow…)”
My consciousness and vision were crystal clear, and I understood the situation perfectly. The damn Goddess was definitely standing right in front of me.
I knew exactly what was going on, too. Jikaku-san—the man who would eventually become Nether King Grandpa—and his companions were in serious trouble. That much was clear. But my body felt strangely light and floaty, like I couldn’t quite get a proper sense of it.
I’d thrown myself into this situation on impulse, but if this turned into a fight, I had absolutely no confidence that I could win.
“I don’t know who you are, but if you’re here to interfere, I won’t show you any mercy.”
“I-I only came here to talk things out with you!”
“Huh? What the hell are you talking about?”
The damn Goddess gave me an intensely suspicious look, and her aura began to grow bigger.
Oh, crap. If I said anything stupid now, she might erase me on the spot.
Switch your brain into corporate-slave sales mode! The loli standing in front of you is the daughter of the president of a very important client company! Believe it! Choose your words carefully. Very carefully, Daishi Ajiri!
Flattery!
Start by buttering her up and getting her in a good mood!
“…”
“Why are you just standing there staring at me? It’s creepy.”
“Oh, uh, sorry. Your face was just so incredibly beautiful that I couldn’t help myself…”
“Huh?”
I’d figured there was no way that would put her in a bad mood, but apparently I may have hit her somewhere deep in the heart.
Sales Skill: [First, Pretend to Be at a Loss for Words]
Flowery compliments aren’t something you can just pile on one after another. If that’s all you do, they usually just sound fake. The presentation is what matters. Look at them with a serious, gentle gaze, and then give them the compliment. That little extra touch can make the other person unconsciously convince themselves that what you’re saying is genuinely true—that they really are that beautiful!
well… Sometimes!
“Wha—! I-I’m not falling for such an obvious compliment!”
“You’re incredibly cute when you’re angry, too!”
“Ah…”
Good!
Judging from experience, this was definitely working. Her face is turning completely red.
Hmm?
Come to think of it, didn’t the damn Goddess have the ability to read minds? I’d been plotting all sorts of things in my head, yet there was no sign whatsoever that she’d picked up on any of it.
Was this a trap?
Nah. Surely not.
Even without resorting to some elaborate scheme like that, she should be able to kill a guy like me in an instant. I didn’t understand the circumstances, but if that was the case, then so be it.
I might as well keep laying it on thick!
“Someone as wonderful as you shouldn’t be involved in something as ugly as murder.”
“B-But…”
“Would you consider sparing just the women? Oh, and, uh… that Jikaku guy? Feel free to kill him.”
I’m not sure whether this is really the past or some kind of dream, but if there’s even a possibility that history could be altered, I definitely want to avoid that.
Jikaku-san. You alone can fall here, then come back as the wonderful Nether King Grandpa you were meant to be. Adios!
“…”
“Come now, Goddess! Release them from that binding spell and let her go…”
“Fine. I’ll release the spell and—wait, like hell I’m doing that! You stupid idiot!!”
“Fwooooooah!!”
I got slapped. It didn’t hurt, but the force sent me flying spectacularly.
“There’s no way I’m letting a soul this high-quality go just because you showered me with a few cheap compliments!”
“Huh?”
“If anything, I was thinking how lucky I was that one more person showed up! You’ve got an incredibly pure soul too, don’t you? Five new recruits all at once! I’m on a roll!”
I have no idea whether she’d been reading my mind or not, but negotiations had completely broken down. Worse, I seemed to have become a target myself. This had officially escalated from bad to really freaking bad!
“Well, I’ll at least accept all those lovely compliments as your last words. You’ve got an excellent eye for beauty!”
“That doesn’t make me happy at all!!”
Looks like fighting was my only option now.
Fine! Screw it!
Come at me, you old hag!!
“Cremation!!”
I thrust my right arm forward and immediately activated my signature Burial Skill—
…Silence. Nothing happened.
Damn it!
My skills really don’t work here!!
“What was that supposed to be? Don’t make me laugh, old man. Anyway, the comedy routine is over. Are you ready to die…?”
“GAAAAAAAAH!!”
“Huh!? No way! What’s going on?! The spell’s been broken…!”
Jikaku-san let out a tremendous roar, and an absolutely monstrous amount of magical power began making the air around him tremble! The Dungeon Master stared in shock, her eyes practically popping out of her head.
Wait! Wasn’t Jikaku-san’s power sealed by the damn Goddess just a moment ago? What the hell is going on!?
“I don’t know who the hell you are, but thanks! You bought me some time!”
“Jikaku!!”
“I’ll protect my companions’ lives! Even if it means my own life ends here!”
“Damn it! He’s forcibly converting his life force into magical power…!”
Converting life force?
Could that mean…
“It might smell a little, but… everyone, bear with me. If we go through there, we should all be able to escape this dungeon safely…”
“Huh?”
“There’s no way we can beat that old hag… So at the very least, I can save all of you!”
He was sacrificing himself to activate a certain skill meant to help them escape. And judging from what he’d just said, I had a pretty good idea what kind of skill he was about to use.
Yeah. If my memory was correct, this was definitely not the kind of skill you were supposed to use for escaping a dungeon.
This is translated by Yume Neiji. Kindly read at yumeneijiworks.com
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