“Hey, Shion! Why are you raising your fist at Daishi-san?!”
A voice reached me from somewhere in the distance. It sounded nostalgic, yet also strangely familiar, as though I’d been hearing it just moments ago. A cute, sweet voice.
The owner of this voice… Could it be Satsuki-chan?
“I cannot allow him to continue indulging in such slothful sleep in a place like this.”
That voice, brimming with barely restrained irritation and murderous intent… That had to be Shion-san!
“That’s true. It’s already been about fifteen minutes since Daishi-san lost consciousness. None of my healing skills worked on him, so I suppose that’s our only option.”
A clear, crystalline big-sister voice. Yet there was something about it that reminded me of a razor-sharp butterfly knife concealed deep beneath the surface. The owner of that voice should be Mina-chan!
I still couldn’t speak, but the hazy, floating sensation was gradually fading, and my consciousness was becoming clearer by the second. I wasn’t entirely certain yet, but it seemed I might have made it back to the real world.
After passing through that asterisk that is.
“We’ve already met the conditions for clearing the second floor, so the seals on our skills and stats have been lifted. There’s no problem with going all out.”
Yep. That husky voice, roughened by years of alcohol, with a pitch that wavered unpredictably… That was definitely Raika-san.
Now I am certain. This is the real world, without a doubt.
Man, I was really glad I’d mustered up the courage to jump into Hell Gate!
I still felt a little guilty about leaving Jikaku-san behind on that battlefield. But, well… I supposed my decision had been the right one in more ways than one. At least I’d managed to save his companions, so that should count for something.
Probably.
“Oh? In that case, shall I use my ultimate Execution Skill instead of my fist? I guarantee you the most refreshing awakening imaginable.”
…Oi!
I couldn’t speak yet, so I’d been forced to lie here and listen, but hadn’t these people been coming up with increasingly horrifying ways to wake me up? An execution skill is NOT an alarm clock! What the hell is wrong with you?!
Still, the fact that I couldn’t move or otherwise signal that I was conscious was seriously bad news. If Shion-san decided to do something, she would absolutely follow through.
At this rate, I was going to be sentenced and executed without even being given a chance to resist!
I had to tell them I was already awake!
Come on! SPEAK, DAMN IT!!
“Execution Skill activated: Skull-Crushing Hammer!”
No good! I still can’t speak!
And since I can’t even open my eyes, I have no way of seeing the murderous skill Shion-san has prepared for me!
Wait, what the hell is a Skull-Crushing Hammer?! I’ve never heard of a skill with such a downright vicious name before!!
“Hey, Shion-san! If you hit Daishi-san with something like that, you’ll kill him!”
“It’ll be fine, Satsuki. His stats have returned to normal, haven’t they?”
“Mina, you should stop her, too… Huh? Ah! So that’s what this is about!”
What the hell is THAT supposed to mean?!
Please stop her, Satsuki-chan!!
“This should be about the right amount of force to wake him up. Now, here I go.”
DON’T YOU DARE!!
I’M THE ONE WHO’S GOING TO DIE HEREEEEE!!
KABOOOOOOM!!
BOIIIIING!!
“GAAAAAAAAH… Huh?”
Apparently, my face hadn’t been flattened beyond recognition after all. I’d heard two sounds almost simultaneously: a tremendous impact, followed by another sound, as though the blow had been bounced right back.
Since my brain was capable of processing those sounds, I could only assume I’d survived unscathed.
Wait a minute… I just spoke out loud, didn’t I?
“Ah, Daishi-san! Good morning! Oh, thank goodness… You’re all right!”
“S-Satsuki-chan…”
“Honestly! You wouldn’t wake up, and you had me so worried!”
“Mina-chan…”
“If your abilities have returned, a half-hearted punch probably wouldn’t even be enough to wake you up, would it? Sorry for giving you such a fright.”
“Shion-san… So that’s what this was about.”
Having finally regained full consciousness, I sat up as everyone gathered around me.
Only after hearing Shion-san’s explanation did I finally understand what had happened. She had a point. Now that my abilities had returned to normal, there was a good chance that a light tap wouldn’t have been enough to wake me up. It would’ve been like expecting someone to wake up using nothing but the faint vibrations of a smartphone on silent mode.
Man, all that panic for nothing. My companions had genuinely been trying their best to wake me up.
I really ought to be grateful…
Still, though… I couldn’t help thinking that Shion-san was an absolute sadist for choosing a skill with such an unmistakably murderous name as Skull-Crushing Hammer.
“Welcome back, Daishi-kun. So, how did you like the taste of that special menu?”
“Oooh…”
A memory I’d almost forgotten—or, rather, desperately wanted to forget—came flooding back the moment Raika-san asked for my opinion.
That’s right. The reason I’d ended up in this sorry state in the first place was because I’d eaten that thing. The Nether King’s raw milt.
“It was creamy, and the flavor had quite a lot of depth.”
“I see. So the Underworld King’s raw milt is surprisingly edible. That’s good to know.”
No, seriously. Ordinary people should absolutely avoid eating that stuff. Please, just stick to fish milt. And besides, there’s no point in learning about it! It’s not like anyone else is going to get the chance to eat it.
…Hm? Wait, there should be one more left, shouldn’t there?
No. Best not to think about that any further.
“Now then, you lot! There’s nothing left for you to do here, is there? So hurry up and move on to the next floor. And take that enormous dragon with you, too—it’s sleeping because it ate too much! I can’t get any of the cleanup done with you all hanging around here!”
Where Raika-san was pointing, Ryunosuke-kun lay flat on his back, his belly swollen to the point of nearly bursting. He wore an expression of pure bliss. After getting to eat his fill, he must have been thoroughly satisfied.
Without him, there was absolutely no way we could have cleared the second floor. There was no doubt about it—the MVP of this floor was Ryunosuke-kun!
Thank you, you ever-hungry Ancient Dragon!
| > Welcome back, old man! > Glad you made it back in one piece! > What the hell were you doing?! Don’t scare us like that! > You suddenly collapsed! You nearly gave me a heart attack! > I honestly thought the Nether King’s raw milt was too much for you to handle. > I’m not entirely sure what happened, but does this mean the second floor is cleared? > The only thing we got to see was a dragon eating. > Give us some actual battles on the third floor! > Any changes to his stats? > Didn’t something awaken in him after he ate that… stuff? > Surely he didn’t just pass out, right? > Check your status screen! > It’s been a while since we’ve had this kind of development. I’m excited! |
It feels kind of nostalgic, seeing this back-and-forth in the comments again.
I’m back, everyone! Daishi Ajiri has returned safe and sound!
Oh, right, right! My status!
After going through all that trouble to make it back, surely I got something out of it, right? I mean, it was the little girl’s special menu, after all! I had every reason to get my hopes up!
All right! Let’s take a look!
Status, open!
| Name: Daishi Ajiri Class: Burial Priest Level: 25 HP: 3333 / 3333 MP: 2929 / 2929 Strength: 8011 Endurance: 2890 Agility: 8001 Intelligence: 3044 Burial Power: 9999 Surplus Burial Points:0 Skills: 【Burial Samsara (Lv1)】 【Burial Healing (MAX)】 【Burial Fist (MAX)】 【Retribution (MAX)】 【Requiem (MAX)】 【Return (MAX)】 【Cremation (MAX)】 【Clairvoyance (MAX)】 Unique Skill: 【Hell Gate】 【Infinite Itembox】 Title: 【Enlightened One】 【The Returnee (One Who Cleared the Ass Route)】 NEW |
“…Seriously?”
I mean, I’m genuinely happy to have received some cool-sounding titles. But did they really need to include those words in parentheses?!
This is translated by Yume Neiji. Kindly read at yumeneijiworks.com
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